We often say in my grief support group that as parents, we make decisions every day on behalf of our children.
Starting with some of the earliest decisions around breastfeeding versus bottle-feeding, to consequences for the stubborn toddler, to how much screen time to allow, to how to pay for college – these decisions are daily, sometimes small, and sometimes life-changing. All are made because the parents are doing what they believe is best. Continue reading
The first book I read after Nelle died in September of 2015 was Rising Strong by Brene Brown. It was exactly what I needed at that time. Brown talks about three parts of the rising strong process: the Reckoning, the Rumble, and the Revolution. Of the rumble, she writes: “The rumble begins with turning up our curiosity level and becoming aware of the story we’re telling ourselves about our hurt, anger, frustration, or pain.” Continue reading
The last time I ran in a 5k was in July of 2015. I had been a semi-serious runner only for about two years, registering in enough 5k races between Spring and Fall to keep myself in shape. I watched my time steadily improve and loved the exhilaration of finishing. My favorite races were in downtown Chicago with thousands of other runners. Between the city backdrop and the energy of the race, it was a rush. Continue reading
Before I was discharged from the hospital after delivering Iris, I asked the doctor to write me a prescription for an anti-depressant. I knew that losing two babies inside of six months could send me into a dark place. When placed on a six-month holding pattern before trying for a baby again, I became rigorous in my self-care. The medication, weekly therapy, yoga multiple times per week, baths, and natural beauty products became a ritual to stay afloat. I hear the words loud and clear from the grief community: take care of yourself, take care of yourself.
I really wanted to attend my SHARE support group last night. The meetings are bi-monthly and a chance for me to talk with other parents that have experienced pregnancy or infant loss. When I attended the last meeting, the group was a mixture of parents with very recent losses (even only a few days prior) and others like me, who were further out. It is also a chance to see the friends that I have made through this club that I never wanted to be a part of. Continue reading