Playtime Evolving

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Playtime evolving

We had planned for Theo and Quentin to be about two-and-a-half years apart, and it happened that way.  We had a toddler that could walk, talk, and eventually was potty trained, limiting the overlap in two kids in diapers.  Outings eventually became a breeze with a double stroller.  They shared a room and played well together. Continue reading

Getting Bigger

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Last night, I took a bath with Autumn.  She has been sick lately, and we had noticed that she seemed skinnier from not having much of an appetite, but last night her little belly was the roundness I would expect from a toddler.  She happily splashed and wanted me to keep filling a small, orange plastic cup with water and then pouring the water over her hands.  Each time, I clearly said the word “water” accompanied by the sign.  Eventually, she raised her hand to her chin in a faint copy of what I had been trying to teach her. Continue reading

Fifth Child Thoughts and Moments

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After starting physical therapy a few weeks ago, Autumn switched from afternoon appointments to morning appointments.  Arriving for an afternoon appointment after a long day at day care meant that she was often exhausted, crabby.  Morning seemed to be a much better fit for her rhythm.  But it meant that she would begin seeing a different therapist. Continue reading

Reflecting on Time and Energy

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At the end of every year, I reflect and look forward to what lies ahead.  I am one of those people who tends to set goals for myself, usually small and incremental.  Or at least that used to be the case before Nelle died and I spent Christmas of 2015 and 2016 with only one thought: for a healthy pregnancy.  The months following Christmas of 2015 brought only more heartache in losing Iris, and while the months following Christmas of 2016 ushered in nearly unmanageable anxiety, at the end of that pregnancy I brought my rainbow baby home. Continue reading

Out With One Month, In With Another

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September always seems to be a hard month. It starts out brutal on the 3rd, the day that we found out that Nelle’s heart had stopped beating. Her birthday on the fourth. Replaying those early days over and over, each year passing and remembering those early days of grief. Then reaching Theo’s birthday and feeling the contradiction of celebrating another year of his life, while missing hers. Continue reading