Change in Plans

For the past few weeks, I have been doing well. There is an enjoyment to the holiday season that I haven't been able to feel for the past two years. I have a sweet, smiley baby. Two older kids that are so excited for all of the Christmas activities we have planned. Events that we... Continue Reading →

On Thursday’s Table

The last two Thanksgivings, I was such a mess that gave no thought to how I could honor my daughters at our table.  Consumed by grief and fear, it was all I could do to make it through a day where gratitude is the overwhelming expectation. Only a few days ago it occurred to me... Continue Reading →

Describe After

Anne Lamott often recounts words that a priest said to her once: "Sometimes Heaven is just a new pair of glasses." A change in perspective. How many words and phrases flow easily from the lips of our culture when it comes to death and dying? All of which are fairly presumptuous that those on the... Continue Reading →


Raising kids is stamped with firsts. First steps, first words, first day of school, first time driving a car, first date.  There were many other firsts in the year following baby loss.  First Christmas without my babies.  First time a close friend had a baby.  First time I attended a support group meeting for parents... Continue Reading →

Passing an Object

I wear a ring, daily, that has an imprint of a heart on the outside and their names inscribed on the inside. I also have a necklace that a friend gave me that has their names and birthdates delicately hanging from tiny pendants. The tattoo on my back has the birthdates of all four of my children.

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