Grieving Out Loud

musings on loss + love, always

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Body. Medical. Unknown.
Expanding Further
Future, Dreaming, Longing
Loss + Love Always
Poetic Voice
Reactions + Behavior
Reflections and Memories
Release. What I Need.
Symbols + Metaphors
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(Mr. Eko. And LOST was one of the best tv shows ever) #grievingoutloud #babyloss #stillbirth #stillborn #1in160 #miscarriage #1in4 #bereavedmother #loss #pregnancyloss #grief #grieving #griefjourney #grievingmother #motherhood #nelleandiris #lifeafterloss #pregnancyafterloss #rainbowbaby #LOSTtv #losttvshow #mreko

I was cleaning out a drawer tonight and found this. I made it for my husband for #ValentinesDay back in 2012. We only had one child and I was pregnant with our second. I'm not crafty at all, but I saw the idea on Pinterest and thought it was cute. I have no idea how I printed each of the 52 reasons, but I do remember using rubber cement to glue them onto a deck of cards. I showed this to my husband tonight, after finding it. As we read the 52 reasons, we both smiled. #marriage #togetherforever #pinterestideas #pinterestsuccess #valentinesdaygift #homemadegift

Yesterday, there was a mass shooting less than 10 miles from my house in Aurora, IL, at the Henry Platt building. Five people were killed and five Aurora Police offices were wounded. Nearby schools went into soft lockdown. My daycare went into soft lockdown. And today... my family went back to its routine. But the families of those five people killed will never be whole again. Someone in my neighborhood is collecting thank you cards and going to take a gift basket to the Aurora Police Department. Others are trying to figure out how to support the families of the victims. I wrote a thank-you card for the APD, and everyone in my family signed - but I hardly knew what to say. How do you thank the people who rushed directly into danger, to protect others? How do you say "This shouldn't have happened. Mass shootings shouldn't happen. But thank you for selflessly being there." #grievingoutloud #aurorashooting #endgunviolence #gunviolence #aurorastrong

Got myself some lounge pants from @meundies for Valentine's Day. Seriously the most comfortable lounge pants ever. #valentinesday #meundies #gifttomyself

A card from my parents for Iris's birthday. #grievingoutloud #babyloss #stillbirth #stillborn #1in160 #miscarriage #1in4 #bereavedmother #loss #pregnancyloss #grief #grieving #griefjourney #grievingmother #motherhood #nelleandiris #lifeafterloss

What does that mother's face look like? On her child's birthday, even years later? Even though her daughter's name is not spoken aloud? Even though answering "how many children do you have?" often has a response of "how many children you can see." This is that morning. Her birthday. Listening to sad music in the car, but really - what other music is right for the mood? Lots of tears. Thinking about what should have been. What a birthday should look like - with cake, and friends, and a wriggling toddler. This birthday is just a shadow of what it should have been. "So take a good look at my face You know my smile looks out of place If you look closer it's easy to trace The tracks of my tears" -Smokey Robinson #grievingoutloud #babyloss #stillbirth #stillborn #1in160 #miscarriage #1in4 #bereavedmother #loss #pregnancyloss #grief #grieving #griefjourney #grievingmother #motherhood #nelleandiris #lifeafterloss

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