Behind the Photographs



Every morning, I look at my “On This Day” from Facebook, usually right up there with reading the news and checking the weather.  I have thirteen years’ worth of history to scroll through.  As I look at photos, I usually try to remember the situation, event, feelings, or why I decided to snap a picture at that time.  There is a lot that the captions don’t tell and often little context for day-to-day activities. Continue reading

Forever Children

This week, Autumn turned three months old.  Based on my due dates, Nelle would be 22 months and Iris would be sixteen-and-a-half months.  But Autumn is older than they will ever be.  Once I passed 16 weeks, 1 day of pregnancy, and 21 weeks, 1 day of pregnancy, Autumn will always be older. Continue reading

A Love Scene

2017-01-27 A Love Scene

There are a lot of photos of me pregnant with Nelle.  We took a family trip to Hawaii when I was around 11 weeks.  I announced the gender to my parents, siblings, and uncles on that trip.  I was nauseous every day.  At eleven weeks, I can see my shape in the photos.  Blissfully unaware.  It is incredibly hard to look at those photos now, as I can never erase that she was in the pictures with us. Continue reading

Image Embedded in Memory

2016-08-24 Image Embedded in Memory

It was August 24, 2015, at what should have been the completely routine mid-pregnancy ultrasound.  Ger almost didn’t attend the appointment since we had done this before with two previous kids, but I insisted that “this is the big one!” And he should be there.  I saw the image of my baby girl on the screen, and my eye immediately caught the estimated gestational age based on measurements:  16 weeks.  That couldn’t be right, I thought, since I was over 19 weeks into pregnancy.  The ultrasound tech was tight-lipped. Continue reading