One Day More
Waiting with bated breath.
It feels like so much is resting on the results U.S. presidential election tomorrow.
At times, I've been unable to sleep because I'm so anxious. I'm scared for loved ones in my life who could face real, life-altering consequences depending on the outcome.
On MSNBC, Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg said, "A vote for Kamala Harris is a vote for politics not to be punching you in the face every day every time you turn on the news." I feel this deeply. Felt it every time Trump opens his mouth and says something disparaging about immigrants, LGBTQ+ people, women, and many, many MANY other people. The hateful rhetoric is exhausting.
I volunteered for campaigns in 2004 and 2008. I want to go back to a world where I disagreed with a candidate because of their policies, not because they were a threat to democracy.
I looked back at this blog to see what I wrote in November 2020 after Biden won. I didn't write anything. I only wrote a single post in November that year, for Thanksgiving. The Covid-19 pandemic was so overwhelming that I had no energy. But I screamed and cried happy tears when the race was called for Biden. I thought we could heal as a country.
Then the insurrection happened. And I've been reminded throughout this election cycle how deep hatred runs in this country. That a voter can somehow look past the crimes. The hate speech. The ongoing threats of violence. Or not even look past them — think all those things are ok and support that person.
We still have a lot of healing to do.
Tomorrow, I'm going to take a sleeping aid and go to bed early. Because I think results tomorrow evening will be unlikely, and there's no reason to stare at the talking heads on the news.
I've been overly optimistic around my kids because I don't want them to worry. My oldest had a full-blown panic attack a few weeks ago. They're scared that their rights will be taken away. They're scared of the hate. Rightly so.
Early this morning, I heard someone recite these lines, from Frank Herbert's Dune. They have been getting me through the day.
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
Anna Burgess Yang